I’ve still been busy with life. It happens. Today I’m happy and blessed that I’ve been able to work and work out these past few weeks. But as my strength is limited I’ve been forced to take a break from a lot of things I love doing, such as writing this blog.
Last weekend I attended “Selätä säästöliekki” (Beat Metabolic Damage) -seminar in Helsinki. A lot of things we went through on both Saturday and Sunday were already known to me but recapitulation is always beneficial. Best parts of the seminar were meeting new, interesting and bright people enthusiastic about health and fitness, and especially the lectures Anna Riihimäki, a psychologist and psychotherapist specialized in eating disorders, gave there. Her talk really hit home with me.
As I’ve written before, when I was younger I suffered from restrictive eating and black-and-white thinking about food and what is healthy eating. Age, learning more about nutrition, and adopting flexible dieting strategies helped to break the cycle of orthorexia. But I still suffer from demanding personality, perfectionism and black-and-white thinking about other things in my life. I restrict myself from having any “fun” or free time until I have dealt with all of my “responsibilities”. I demand and accept only perfection regarding my work as a doctor, peer supporter, friend, spouse, you-name-it. There are only total successes or complete failures in my life. Again quoting Anna Riihimäki talking about a particularly challenging patient of hers, “that’s why (psycho)therapy takes years!” 😀
She also talked a lot about self compassion and cherishing small victories. I realize I rarely, if ever, compliment myself when I succeed in something. I tend to take my personal victories for granted. Sometimes I think I haven’t really accomplished anything. But I have! I really, really have done many things I should be proud of recently. To remind myself, I decided to list some of my accomplishments / personal victories:
- I’ve gotten better at limiting my engagements and volunteering work and realizing I need to take care of myself first if I want to help others
- I have been able to return back to powerlifting and continue my weightlifting practice – “only” three times per week is still three times more than zero – getting healthy, fit and strong again takes time
- I’ve taken time to unwind – whether listening to music, reading a good sci-fi book or just cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie without doing anything else
- I’ve taken care of getting enough quality sleep – in my case, 8-10 hours of real sleep, not just lying in bed, which is already an amount you can’t get by accident, it takes work and dedication
Anna talked about the waves of healing. The picture at the top is courtesy of her lesson. I hope I will someday truly learn and internalize the message. Other good reminder I’ve posted before:
I guess I’m still going to spend a more than few hours working on my tendency of overt self-criticism and learning to love, forgive, and rest. But hey, I’ve got the rest of my life to perfect this :).
Ride the waves and have a wonderful week,