One Step Forward, Three Steps Backward

This has been one of longest pauses between posting I’ve had since I started blogging. Life and adrenal insufficiency just got hold of me pretty badly during these past few weeks… I’ve been exhausted, overwhelmed and slightly depressed due to simply too many issues to deal with both regarding my health, my family and responsibilities and work. Of course, there’s been a lot of good things, too. But too much of everything is still too much. I’ll try to do a small recap here on what’s happened since I last posted:

THE NEGATIVES

  • I’ve been unable to work out for a month now. I’m still very tired, dizzy and weak almost every day and haven’t been able to reduce my hydrocortisone dose into my normal daily amount. I’ve been having on and off sore throat and headaches, too. I haven’t been to a doctor as I’m 99% sure this is just a post-viral infection problems as I don’t have any fever etc. but this long a pause from working out and feeling miserable is killing me.
  • I hate this rainy dampness. Where is the snow? Winter was supposed to be coming…
Lahti with Christmas lights - but with no snow...
Lahti with Christmas lights – but with no snow…
  • My mother is going to have a back surgery due to her spinal stenosis. Her spinal cord is compressed due to degenerative changes and her spondylolisthesis (the same problem that I have) and her walking distance without pain has reduced to 50-150 metres. Her orthopedist and I both talked to her that the surgery is the best option to help her and encouraged to book the surgery as soon as possible. She was afraid something would go wrong and she’d end up paralyzed or with worse pain (thanks to an idiotic physio who ten years ago scared her by telling lots of shit about back surgeries gone wrong). I’m booking her to the same OMT therapist I went to in Lahti (you can read more about my back issues and how I got help from my previous post: Back Again (Pun Intended)). I’m also encouraging her to join a pilates class and go to the gym so that she’ll be in good shape for the surgery. She’s to be operated in next February and I’m going to move in with her after the surgery until she recovers, for about 6-10 weeks or so.
  • My diet has been A MESS for over a week now. I need to pick up and soon. No more candy, gingerbread, pizza and alcohol for this girl. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself for not being able to lift and have mistreated my body. That won’t do anymore.
At least all my food is not total junk - found this great new fiber-rich protein bar by Finnish Leader - cheaper and even more tastier than Quest bars!
At least all my food is not total junk – found this great new fiber-rich protein bar by Finnish Leader – cheaper and even more tastier than Quest bars!

THE POSITIVES

  • I’m now a trained peer supporter! I participated in a two-day course run by The Finnish Association of People with Physical Disabilities. It was held at Validia Kuntoutus in Lahti so I also got to see my mother and spend time with her. We had such a wonderful group at the course. It was meant for persons with a rare disease or a limb amputation. Our diagnoses included adrenal / pituitary issues, several EDS and CFS people, people with limb amputation, SLE, neurofibromatosis and also several Erb paresis patients. I had such a great time and will definitely want to keep in touch with several of the amazing persons I met there ❤ . I only regret I wasn’t feeling better, as due to my exhaustion I couldn’t spend the evening at the course facility socializing but had to withdraw immediately into bed after both course days.
  • I was able to go and see Cradle Of Filth playing at Nosturi, Hel(l)sinki last month ❤ . I was so sick and weak during the day before the concert, but with a lot of painkillers, black metal played way too loud and 100 mg (!) worth of HC, I made it to the gig and it was simply awesome! They played a lot of old material from my favorite albums like Midian, Dusk & Her Embrace, Cruelty & The Beast and Nymphetamine 🙂
Cradle Of Filth at Nosturi
Cradle Of Filth at Nosturi
  • I’ve been encouraged to begin a doctoral dissertation project. My area of study will be Addison’s Disease patients and exercise. I’m not sure if I’ll be doing the dissertation under Medical or Exercise Sciences yet, but I’m now beginning to write down my research plan. I already have two advisors recruited, a docent in endocrinology ( yep, really 😀 ) from Helsinki University Hospital and an exercise scientist from Jyväskylä Uni. I also have an avid professor level supporter from the U.S. but more about that and my dissertation project later… I’m just really, really tired right now and my tiredness with a brain fog isn’t the greatest combination when trying to write down a thesis plan!
  • I’m now officially a badass mean knitting machine! This break in lifting weights has tested my abilities to pass the time to the max. Since I still am able to take only that much of Netflix, reading and playing (just finished Dragon Age 2, finally – phew!), I’ve knitted away like crazy. While watching even more Netflix. I’ve done scarfs, socks, mittens and a couple of beanies. I guess one of my friends was right when he teased me I’ll soon turn into a real granny-like retiree – I only lack the rocking chair now 😀
A compilation of my recent knitting successes
A compilation of my recent knitting successes

More about everything (hopefully only a little bit) later,

xoxo,

Veera

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