I’ve noticed a change in how I see my friendships.
During the past year I’ve been gravitating more and more towards relationships with positive vibes. The harder my life has gotten, the more I am and want to be grateful for even the tiniest positive things in my life. Of course I complain when shitty stuff happens. But after I get the rant off my chest, I’m free. Free to enjoy walks in crispy autumn forest. To have a cup of tea with a friend. To follow the antics of my hamster while she redecorates her “apartment”. To cuddle with my boyfriend.
I don’t want to be a source of negative energy. I don’t dwell in the past – the mistakes, the failures, the misery. If someone does me wrong, I don’t turn the other cheek, I defend myself, but I also don’t let the negative define me. I move on. I focus on things I can actually affect. There’s no point in cursing a rainy day forever. Put on some waterproof clothes for chrissake, or stay indoors and make yourself a cuppa of hot chocolate with marshmellows. The sun won’t start shining even if you throw a temper tantrum. Life won’t get better by holding a two-year pity party. Deal with it. And try to have some fun in your life if that’s in any way possible.
A person who does nothing but project negativity around and focuses on everything that is wrong and bad about the world isn’t a person I want to spend my time with. My mental health and time is too valuable for that. Life is simply too short.
A disclaimer: I’ve suffered from depression. I know the blackness, the emptiness, the encompassing dark hole of desperation it surrounds you with. It’s hard – sometimes seemingly impossible – to dig yourself out of that hole. You can’t fight depression with just your force of will. Or if you can, kudos to you. I couldn’t. I needed medication, therapy, time, the support of my family and friends, and still more time. I’m not talking about that kind of negativity here. But the sort you make up yourself. Do you want to see the failures of the past or the opportunities of the future? You can decide how you see and interpret the things around you. That is, if you have a functioning neural network in your brain, the appropriate combination of transmitter substances and a free will. Borgs (do you even Star Trek?) and people possessed by mind-controlling slugs out to conquer the world are excluded.
I want to think of myself as a good friend. Someone who you can call even in the middle of the night if you’re in trouble. I know I’m not perfect. But for my friends I want to do all I can. I want be a ferocious fighter if someone or something threatens the people I care about. I want be the silent listener, the compassionate comforter or a provider of good back-to-reality ass kicking when needed. I don’t always get it right, but I try.
During these past weeks I’ve yet again been amazed and humbled by how many good friends I’ve been blessed with. I’ve gotten messages asking how I’m doing. I’ve been to the movies, water running and walking with a friend. Yesterday I told a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time about my powerlifting aspirations. She instantly offered as support and cheering crowd for my first competition, whenever it may be. 🙂 I couldn’t be more grateful. ❤
Today I’ll be co-hosting an Addison’s disease / adrenal insufficiency support group meeting. The importance of support, especially when you’re dealing with a rare disease is invaluable and I want to be a part of a community that helps people to adjust and cope with it. I want to share my successes, and what lessons I’ve learned from my failures. I want to hear other people’s stories, laugh with them, cry with them. I want them to feel that even when no one in their life seems to understand, there’s still hope. I hope we can provide a safe environment for people to express themselves, get the support they need, and perhaps gain new friends. 🙂
I’d like to challenge you to reach out to a friend today. Tell her / him how much you value your friendship and why. ❤ We all need positivity and love in our lives. Let’s share that – together!